Nicole v. The Wolf Spider

Florida has countless numbers of disgusting creepy crawlies. Among these are the wolf spiders. As predatory arachnids go, wolf spiders are particularly horrid as they are large, not so much in length, but in body.

My encounter with the 8-legged beast was just the other day as I was cleaning out a room. Quite focused on my goal of cleanliness, I was hurrying along minding my own business, when I felt a crunch under my naked left heel. Yes, my barefoot came pounding down on a creature so repulsive children (and me) have nightmares about them. I have zero shame in admitting that as soon as I looked down I felt like I was going to pass out. Dry heaving shortly commenced after the dizziness. Kevin had to carry me to the bathroom, where I washed my ankle under hot water for 5 minutes. I then went to lay down to try and ease the horror of what happened.

Upon relaying this experience to my mother, she was extremely disappointed that I did not take a picture of the now dead spider. Photos were the furthest thing from my mind at the moment in time. I have however googled a picture for you delight (and just so you know, googling wolf spiders has made me itch like crazy, I feel like they are climbing all over me and the dry heaving has started again.)

Kevin, in effort to be supportive told me to look on the bright-side: "At least it was you who came off victorious."

News Flash: I'm Amazing

We are officially in Florida and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm amazing.

The reason for this is as follows:

We had to be in Florida by Jan 4th, due to Kevin starting work. Seems simple enough, until you get stuck in England for an extra couple days, meaning you have to pack up and leave Phoenix roughly 12 hours after you touched down. Thankfully I am "overly organized" and had most things packed before.

So with all things in tow, plus a serious amount of jet-leg we set out for Houston where we spent two days with Dani & TJ; celebrating New Years (by going to bed) and also our anniversary. Being in the middle of a cross-country move was exactly how I pictured our first anniversary! Thankfully Dani & TJ know how to spoil and we were taken out for the best Mexican breakfast burritos, dinner with TJ's family and then Tres Leches, where we were serenaded by a single guitarist!

The drama commenced again on our last leg from Houston to Florida. Kevy's alternator decided to die, and we were rescued by some of the nicest people ever (accompanied by a valuable lesson on judgement) and then his tire popped on the freeway, as he was pulling a U-Haul. Which would be fine if this didn't all happen late at night in the freezing cold and prolonged our trip by about 6 hours.

If you think I am amazing for surviving that, you will be even more impressed when I tell you that I drove my own car behind Kevy's for 40 hours and 2100 miles....ALL BY MSELF. Yes, it's true I'm amazing. It may have taken me a week to recover, but by george I did it. Now proving I can do anything! Although I have made Kevin promise me, that I will never have to do that again.

We have enjoyed our first couple weeks here, and have just been settling in. We went to Kevin's best friend from High School's wedding, and I actually had fun! Generally I hate weddings and don't find them enjoyable (no offense Danielle. Although I may have enjoyed yours, if I wasn't so mad at TJ....clearly all TJ's fault)

We are excited for the prospects ahead of us in Florida and can't wait for people to come visit, even if they are using us to go to Disney.

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas at home in England! The Saltzman Family has a few christmas traditions, one of these traditions is to do something different every Christmas, keeps us on our toes! This year we decided to give mum a break and have Christmas Eve dinner in a pub, which was very quaint in deed!

A tradition we have adopted since moving to England 20 years ago, is the Christmas cracker. We love them!

Getting ready to pull:

(No, they are not twins. Michelle is older by two years. Please try not to mention their similarities in front of them, they get very defensive. If you wish to compliment them, simply tell them they look like their older sister. It doesn't matter which sister, as Danielle and I get asked if we are twins too)

Christmas crackers always contain a crown and a joke inside. As for the other bonus presents, it could literally be anything. With these crackers we were lucky enough to win fake earrings! Hooray.

Christmas eve night we held a talent show. None of the footage taken worked out, which is a pity as we had:

Cori - doing impressions (classic)

Shelly - showing off her ability to do 20 "man" push-ups.

Kevin - solving a rubix cube under 2 minutes.

Me - naming all the capitals of the 50 states.

Dani & TJ - shadow puppets, the story of two dogs who fell in love and turned into birds.

Mum - a rewritten poem of "A Night Before Christmas", with all our names in it!

Christmas day was fantastic, as always. And this year it involved a lot of dancing:

(please note our matching PJs. My poor mum makes us PJs every year at our persistence. And every year she does a fabulous job, and we love her for it!)

My little sisters are what some may call "fashion forward." Apparently the next big rage is military boots. If you think that these are a little less than desirable, then my dad will be the first to tell you that, you have gotten old and loss your edge (something every girl wants to hear!)

The crackers!

One of TJ's and Kevin's Christmas presents were tickets to an West Ham football (soccer to you Yanks) game, they were completely thrilled, and are now Hammer fans for life.

At football games there is always lots of sining and chanting. Kevin said he couldn't understand half of them (which probably was for the best), however they were prepped for the West Ham song "Forever Blowing Bubbles."

Going home for Christmas was fantastic. There is nothing like going home! Same time next year?

Blooper Reel

We took 40 minutes of footage this Christmas, which is ridiculous. About 85% of those clips fall under the term: blooper.

TJ and I had some creative differences. Directors get zero respect.

(We got stranded in Austria for an extra day, because our plane couldn't land due to "southernly winds". It took us 2 buses, a train and a taxi to get to the other side of Austria to get home. Very "Planes, Trains and Automobiles")

Narration can be really hard:

If you ever think to yourself, "wow this is the nicest train I've ever been on", there is probably a reason for that:

It can be confusing about when is the appropriate time to begin:

This isn't a blooper, just another weird Austrian Christmas tradition:

The Christmas Market Goers Guide to Surviving Austria

1. It will be freezing, so wear as much as humanly possible. Bonus points if you dress like dad.

2. Austrian accents are really difficult. Don't attempt to do one in front of natives.

NB - "Spreken de English" is an excellent way to let people know you are a tourist, do not be surprised if this results in snorts/giggles/eye rolling from the locals.

3. Seeing scary masks as decor on a beautiful christmas booth, should be the first sign that something weird will be happening later (see number 10 for further details)

4. Practice your wizardry skills before arrival.

5. Always be looking, she is still out there.

6. Be prepared for long hikes up to the castle, with multiple pauses for photos and flip shots.

7. Food is bigger there. Drinks on the other hand, are smaller (no free refills!). Please take careful note that if you ask for mineral water you will get sparkling water. When you ask the waitress to please rectify this by replacing it with still water, she will go on, excessively, how it is your fault and how you are the idiot: "still water is still water. Mineral water is sparking water" - something everyone should know or apparently already does know.

8. Drinking water from the fountain in the square can be challenging. Practice at home by twisting body awkwardly.

9. To thoroughly enjoy the christmas market, attend once the sun has gone down (roughly 4pm)

10. If you hear bells and see antlers, do not be fooled into thinking Santa is coming. He is not. Instead scary ghouls are on the way to either; hit bad children, or send away the bad spirits of 2009.